Microsoft releases Windows 7 and also allows University students to buy is for $49.95, Good Game is completely destroyed by the introduction of a female cast member, and the firing of Jungalist, Adam finally updates the news reel with new stories, Modern Warfare 2 will have an optional level that allows the player to be a terrorist and kill civilians, Fallout 3 GOTY edition will come out, then all of a sudden the original game will drop in price by 40-50 bucks, Duke Nukem Forever will be released this year (Ha Ha NOT!), The End is Near, well its closer than the beginning, Blueray disks are more easily damaged than DVD's, Halo Reach First Animation reel released, No sign of the PS3 console decreasing in price because of the recession, Gangster: West Coast Shuffle will be a full 3D GTA style game released for the iPhone, Bioware have released three new trailers for "Star Wars: The Old Republic", Bungie announce a second way to earn recon armor on Bungie day, Sony fight back against Xbox's Project Natal with a prototype motion control system using the Playstaion Eye, The Transformers Movie Sucks!, Halo Reach will be ton's better than ODST, Xbox 360's Natal is just a better version of the Wii, Bioshock 2 will have a boring first trailer that tells you absolutely nothing about the game, Mass Effect 2 will have as many annoying pointless side missions as the first,

Saturday, September 12, 2009

News: Gravity number one killer of noobs

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In totally not related gamer news the International Committee for the Discovery of Major Causes of Death in Noobs or (ICDMCDN) for short, has discovered that gravity has been killing more noobs than any of the other major causes of death, including some of the minor ones. Due to this shocking revelation to all involved a new religious group Gravity Of Death has started preaching for the banning of gravity in localized area's and local PTA mom's no longer want their children exposed to this dangerous and deadly problem.

With this news the tobacco industries has released it new slogan "They're not as bad as Gravity" and scientists from several of the major Universities have started research into gravity repellant devices and spray's.

So For the time being all you noobs better stay in door away from windows and doors, with really thick curtains and a good game!


This has been a public service announcement by DocFox01 serving the community since today!

All knowledge of gravity and its uses as a hallucinogenic are false and the CSIRO are just making it up to feel special cause they've done nothing good since patenting WiFi, the use of anti gravity devices may cause weightlessness, diarrhea, vomiting, fear of the dark, annoying know all attitude, weight gain, hair-loss and a craving to smoke Marlboro cigarettes. She sell sea shells by the sea shore, even tho sea shells are on the sea shore, therefore she has a bad marketing department, sell them in the desert! If your still reading this ramble i applause you for you tenacity. Oh and if you want free internet sit outside Andrew's place. The twist ending to the sixth sense was that Bruce Willis's character was the ghost.

8 comments:

  1. WTF Dude, your insane, gravity is like awesome, if I didn't have it I'd be like totally floatin around the room like a fly

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  2. If we didn't have gravity, it'd mean the earth would have suddenly stopped, and we'd be flying.... of the face of the planet and into the solar system! like dust in the wind!! lol... ouchies. oh and really fast too! that's if we weren't killed by everything else being thrown of the planet. Yes.. free interent. bitch.

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  3. but the gravity is killing people, tripping and falling and hitting your head, or falling of a cliff, or crashing in an air plane, they are unrefutable facts, and all things that noobs do often

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  4. mmmm, if earth stopped spinning everything would be dead!! Trees too!! So gravity is slightly better. :-p

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  5. so your a noob hater then :p

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  6. The wurld must bee informd. I will carrie teh messige to awl teh peepls! GRAVITEE MUST BEE STUPPED!!

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  7. Ha ha I like the fact that Dan is pro-gravity when he can fall UP stairs... he has been affected by gravity more than the rest of us combined ;D

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  8. exactly how can noobs i.e. Dan, be pro-gravity, it makes no sense. plus Anna has either fallen and hit her head (Damn, Gravity) or has played too much WOW.

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